This morning, I picked up the newspaper and read it. About half way through what should I come across?

I'll tell you what: an article describing the Vatican's condemnation of the Harry Potter books. Apparently these tomes are pure evil incarnate; celebrating the cult of satanism and encouraging young impressionable's into following this dark path. The Vatican believes that Harry Potter is a 'grave lie' and a poor hero for children to follow, because not only is he a magician but he has no religion. Harry Potter is on the fast track to eternal damnation, essentially.

So I suppose it'd be all right if Harry Potter was a Muslim or Jew? No, it most certainly would not. The Vatican are incredulous because there is a series of books out there that are loved by both children and adults, that they have not been given the chance to approve. They are pissed off because Harry Potter is accessible to everyone, and not under the influence of a set of rules which may or may not be right.

They believe that Harry Potter is himself an evil and poor quality hero. Where does that come from? Never once has Harry Potter done anything remotely evil. He's so white bread he's boring. It's the characters around him that are interesting (Fred and George beng a prime example of that). The worst thing Harry Potter ever does is prowl the corridors after dark...even when he's in his rebellious years all he really does is shout and cry.

So does the fact that he's a wizard make him evil? Hell no! You ask any child whether wizards and witches actually exist and they'll probably say 'no'. Ask them if Harry Potter is a bad person and they will also say 'no'. Ask them if Lord Voldemort is a bad person and they will undoubdetdly say 'yes'.

Which is my exact point. The Harry Potter books follow the age old Good vs. Evil structure. It's teaching children about morality; the importance of friends and family and doing the right thing rather than being seduced by power. Where does Satan come into that? Here is an unlikely extract from an unseen Harry Potter book:

From Harry Potter and the Satanic Orgy

"But Professor Dumbledor," Harry said as Hermione painted a pentagram with fresh goat's blood on his bare chest, "I'm not sure if summoning up the dark forces of Lucifer is a good idea."

"Oh do be quiet my dear boy," lisped Dumbledor in an amazing portrait of gay stereotypes. " Only with the awesome power of the Prince of Darkness may we defeat the slightly less evil Voldemort. Now get on your knees and let Mister Weasely have his way with you."

"Get in!" laughed Ron.

You see my point.
Good God, it's just the sheer ignorance of it that truly smacks my gob. Let's think how many Catholic priests have ruined the lives of young children by molesting them? I'd say that's blurring the lines of evil a hell of a lot more than a simple children's book.

Whatever happened to letting children have an actual childhood? Is the Vatican so desperate to get this Godless society back under the great thumb of religion that it's attempting to destroy the happiness of thousands of children? Can't they see that it's pure fantasy, pure entertainment? Are they really that blind?

It's a sure sign of desperation to see a spark-shooting wand as a threat.